Dr Phil Sketch Show

I really want to play Dr. Phil in a sketch show. Someone please help me write something better than this:

Dr. Phil: Behind the Doctorate

Int. Studio - Day

Lights come up on an empty stage. Dr. Phil walks out to an audience applause and intro music and stops at the center of the stage.

DR PHIL

Welcome to the Dr Phil Show, I'm Dr Phil. Today is a very special episode on a topic near and dear to my heart: me. That's right, I'll be doing a one on one interview with myself today.

Audience applauds.

DR PHIL

Now to get in the spirit of me we have Dr Phil masks for everyone in the audience. Take a look under your seats.

Pause for audience to put on masks.

DR PHIL

Isn't that fun. It's like I'm looking into a bald and beautiful mirror.

Dr Phil takes a seat.

DR PHIL

My first guest on the show tonight is going to be me. Let's take a look at the video.