Beneath The Briefs - Episode #4 - Essencing

BENEATH THE BRIEFS

Jenna Marie Carey

"Episode #4 - Essencing"

INT. COFFEE HOUSE. NIGHT

A poet finishes her set and the patrons snap for her as she exits the stage. Hulk sits alone at a table for two snapping along with the crowd. He’s wearing his usual uniform with the addition of small circular glasses and a beret on top of his beanie. The show host snaps his way onto stage up to the microphone. He produces a piece of paper from his vest pocket.

HOST
Our next artist, or "career poet", is Terry. Everyone please welcome Terry.

Hulk calmly stands from his chair and makes his way onto the stage. He grabs the Host’s head with both hands and they touch foreheads for a moment. The Host pulls away and walks off stage.

HULK HOGAN
Is everyone ready to rumble... their souls?

Hulk pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from under his beret. He presses play on a cassette player and the sound of ocean waves softly emits from the speakers.

HULK HOGAN
L.I.N.D.A. You were a blonde and tan body full of sex passion. Boom! We made love on a yacht in the Pacific Ocean. Bam! My seed was inside of your womb. Birth! Tiny, baby, girl. I know you are me and I know I am you. More precious to me than a diamond encrusted Do Do Bird. Growing, growing, grown. My
baby is a woman now and now I am an old man. My face, tired. My hands, these hands, they held you until
your legs became strong, and then, then you were free. My, baby, girl. You ARE free.

Hulk stands on stage and the audience remains silent. A few start snapping and it gets louder with clapping and cheering. Hulk smiles with a tear in his eye.

INT. COFFEE HOUSE. NIGHT

Hulk is flirting with a gothic-hipster GIRL. The Girl is completely taken with Hulk.

GIRL
The way you moved your words with your mouth, it sent chills through my body. It was so honest, you know? And so sexy.

HULK HOGAN
Wow, thanks. I mean, it was coming straight from my heart and then filtered it through my brain. So that’s how I did it I guess.

GIRL
Yeah, so cool.

HULK HOGAN
Because, next to the heart, the brain is the body’s coolest organ and I trust it the most.

GIRL
Yeah, I never thought of it that way.

HULK HOGAN
To be honest I never thought of it that way either. That just came to me, like, right now.

GIRL
You’re a fucking genius.

HULK HOGAN
Cool.

INT. COFFEE HOUSE BATHROOM. NIGHT

Hulk is making out with the Girl in a bathroom stall. The Film Maker can be seen in the mirror reflection.

FILM MAKER
Maybe I should go?

HULK HOGAN
No! You need to see this if you want to capture my essence. I’m essencing right now!

FILM MAKER
I don’t think you know what essence means.

BLACK OUT