BENEATH THE BRIEFS
Jenna Marie Carey
"Episode #5 - Nature"
EXT. WOODS. DAY
Hulk Hogan and the Film Maker are walking on a foot path in the woods.
HULK HOGAN
It'd be cool to walk out here naked.
FILM MAKER
I guess so.
HULK HOGAN
Just, like, totally vibing with nature and stuff.
FILM MAKER
This is a public park, so it's probably not a good idea...
Hulk is naked.
HULK HOGAN
Too late!
Hulk, nude, runs ahead.
HULK HOGAN
Freedom!
Out of nowhere a BigFoot like creature appears. It tackles Hulk and then attacks the Film Maker.
LATER THAT DAY
Hulk is nude and covered in shit. CLOSE UP on his
face as he wakes up. He sees the Film Maker is passed out and rushes
over to him.
HULK HOGAN
Camera Guy! Wake up. Why didn't I ever ask your name? This isn't fair to me!
Hulk grabs the camera and starts filming himself "Blair Witch" style.
HULK HOGAN
I'm lost in the woods. I don't know how long I've
been here, it could be weeks for all I know. I was eaten and pooped out
by a BigFoot. My best friend is completely dead. I'm all alone and it's
getting cold here.
Hulk places the camera on a stump. He walks away and scratches his naked butt.
EXT. WOODS. DUSK
Hulk stands over the Film Maker who is laying in a freshly dug but shallow grave. He starts to cover him with dirt.
HULK HOGAN
Goodbye, whatever your name was.
EXT. WOODS. NIGHT
Hulk sits by a fire holding a photo of the Film Maker
in a heart locket. In the photo you cannot see the Film Maker's face as
he is holding a camera.
HULK HOGAN
I'll miss you little buddy.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Hulk is sleeping in the fetal position in a leaf pile. He hears a rustling sound and wakes up.
HULK HOGAN
(afraid)
Hello?
More noises, they get louder and closer sounding.
HULK HOGAN
Who's there? I don't want to have to hurt you!
Hulk stands up and starts throwing air kicks and
punches. The Film Maker, covered in dirt, walks up to Hulk and smacks
him the face.
FILM MAKER
You buried me alive you moron.
Hulk gives a girlish scream. Then he realizes it's the Film Maker.
HULK HOGAN
You're alive!
FILM MAKER
I told you I wasn't dead.
INSERT FLASHBACK
EXT. WOODS. DUSK
Hulk is crying and dragging the Film Maker towards his grave. The Film Maker starts to wake up.
FILM MAKER
Hey, what are you doing?
HULK HOGAN
I have to bury your dead body.
FILM MAKER
I'm not dead Terry.
HULK HOGAN
I know this must be hard Camera Man, but I watched you die. I have to do the right thing and put you to rest. I wish I could have known your real name.
FILM MAKER
It's Jasper.
As Hulk drags him the Film Maker hits his head on a rock and passes out again.
HULK HOGAN
Go to sleep now Camera Man.
END FLASHBACK
EXT. WOODS. NIGHT
Hulk hugs the Film Maker.
HULK HOGAN
Jasper, that's right you told me that before. Well, glad to have you back Camera Man.
FILM MAKER
Why do you smell like shit?
HULK HOGAN
Oh, I'm covered in shit.
BLACK OUT
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